Depression

I have noticed that it is so easy for some to discount the way another feels because they either don't care, or they have never felt the same way, so they don't understand.
Depression is one of these things that many do not truly understand how debilitating it can be. It has a tendency to run in families, but it can strike at anyone. People will say, oh just shake it off, or you are just in a rut, try something different, or some other saying like that. They aren't trying to be mean, but if you have never experienced true depression then it's hard to understand. Yes, everyone can get the blues and be down, but depression is something beyond those things.
Unless you have lived through it and survived the deepest depths that depression can take you to, to the point of wanting to or even attempting to take your own life, then you have not experienced the type of depression I'm talking about.
I have known a few that have committed suicide and there were people that called them a coward and said if they had only reached out to someone, then they could have helped. But that's just it, depression makes you feel very alone.  You also don't want to burden anyone with your problems, and most of all, you don't want to bring anyone else down with you. Depression will strip all light from your life.  You don't want to do anything, you don't want to see anyone, most times you just want to sleep and not get out of bed.
The commercials for the antidepressants can only show what it looks like from the outside, but the war that is waging on the inside is a horrible, self-esteem stripping bloodbath, and like all wars, some don't make it. Those that do make it are constantly walking a fine line, and have to keep constant vigilance to not sink into those depths. It's tiring and exhausting to deal with, but you have to find something or someone, even if that someone doesn't know it, to focus on to keep you moving forward, and not spiral down into those dark depths again.
I am one of those that suffer from depression, I choose not to use the medication because I'm a very empathic person and the drugs make me feel like a part of me is missing, something similar to being blind or deaf is the only way I can describe it. Some of you have experienced my listening, and being able to pinpoint how you are feeling without you saying anything. On the medication I couldn't do that, and that made the drugs abhorrent to me.
Depression can lead to many addictions, like alcohol and drugs and even food. I don't drink that much anymore, because the temporary feeling of not feeling is too tempting, and since alcoholism as well as depression in many of its forms runs in my family, it's best if I don't drink too often. Sometimes I do partake, but I limit myself to how much I drink.
So for those of you who have never experienced this kind of depression, you are truly blessed and I really envy you, and I hope that you never do. For those of you who have, you know what I'm talking about.
For me the depression comes in cycles and I have to recognize the warning signs and start combating them. Learning that it's ok to feel some of the anger, resentment, and unhappiness that I do has helped. I have learned to channel it, mostly into writing, not all here, some elsewhere, but it is an outlet. It is a part of me, and it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Don't take the little things for granted, because sometimes the little things are all some of us have to hold onto.