Happiness

It is difficult to keep faith in an ideal when life keeps throwing obstacles in your way.  Those obstacles aren't necessarily there to take the faith away, but to see how strong it your faith is.  As some of you may know I believe that everything happens for a reason both good and bad to teach us whatever lessons we need to know, so we can move to the next phase of our life.  This belief is tested on a daily, sometimes, what seems to be an hourly basis.

I try to close my eyes, take a deep breath and repeat to myself it all happens for a reason, and it will always turn out the way it should, even if it's not the way we want.  This sometimes will calm me and give me an inner peace, other times it just pisses me off.  I'm not going to pretend that everything is good all the time, because it's not.  Sometimes life just sucks and that's all there is to it.  It's in these times that we are either broken or made, and it all depends on the way we choose to look at it.

I don't see everything with rose colored glasses and that the glass is half full all the time, and I don't see everything as dark and dreary with the glass as half empty all the time.  Some days the glass is half full, some days it's half empty.  I can find something funny in the most serious of situations, and I can find something serious in the most funny of situations.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way I look at things. 

I don't always feel like being gregarious or extraverted, most of the time I am introverted and quiet and like things to be that way as well.  In relationships I haven't made the best choices for me, but I have always learned from them.  Even though I'm not looking for someone, it doesn't mean I'm not open to the possibility if it is presented.  I'm just more cautious about who I let in these days.  So for this in between time, I'm enjoying discovering who I am again.  Of learning my likes and dislikes without someone else's influence upon me.  I'm learning of what I will compromise on and what I won't.  I'm also learning that I'm more rigid about the things I won't compromise on anymore.  That's the good thing about not being in a relationship, learning about yourself.  That is if you aren't afraid to look within and truly examine where things have gone wrong.

Not too long ago someone pointed out that my poems have been emphasizing learning lessons and heeding the lessons learned.  That the journey taken for those lessons have in the end been worth it on so many levels.  If I don't learn from anything that happens to me then each situation is pointless and I will have to go through something similar over and over and in a bigger way each time until I get what I need to learn. 

Sometimes I've been quick to learn what I need to know, other times, not so much.  The other times have been excruciatingly painful while going through the situation, but I know it is because I haven't paid attention and the only way I was going to learn was through the pain.  Some of the situations I have brought upon myself, other times they have happened because of things outside of my control. 

I think the most important lesson I have ever learned is to remember that I am blessed even when I'm unhappy or hurting.  I know there are a lot out there who can't see the light while surrounded by dark.  I try to point out to those in the dark the light that they have in their lives, sometimes they see it, sometime they don't.  All I can do it try to show what I've learned to others, if they accept it then great, if not then I hope that they can find someone or something to help them find the happiness within.

So today I say to those that choose to read what I write:

Find something to be thankful for, no matter how small it might be, no matter how insignificant it might seem, because most of the time the smallest thing can make the biggest difference.